Things that inflicted harm on me today

Since I woke up this morning at 5am thes things have inflicted harm on me.

Paper - Slipping on a single sheet and hitting my foot on a trunk.
Laptop - Slid off of my lap and onto already injured foot.
Laptop Charger -  Slipped on it and hit other foot on same trunk.
Unplugged computer mouse - Hit m in the eye when I picked up one end off of a shelf I stored it on.
Fork - fell off of a counter and stabbed me in the foot.
Invisibile ice on kitchen floor - Stebbed me in the foot as I was recovering from the fork.
Pizza box - Hit me in other ey as I was moving them to the trash.
My heart - Forever alone.
Pencil - Flung from my hand as I flipped it around to erase and hit me in the eye.

It is only 10am. If you don't hear from me it's because something I own killed me.